Remember the Good Times: The Neuroscience and Power of Mindful Parenting

Parenting a child with behavioral challenges can feel like navigating a storm without a compass. The emotional toll, the daily battles, and the constant vigilance can leave caregivers drained and discouraged. Yet, amidst the chaos, there are moments—fleeting smiles, spontaneous hugs, shared laughter—that hold profound power. Dr. Priya Thomas’s gentle reminder to “remember the good times” is more than poetic encouragement; it’s a neuroscience-backed strategy for strengthening parent-child relationships and fostering resilience.

The Brain’s Bias Toward Negativity

Human cognition is evolutionarily wired to prioritize threats. This “negativity bias” means our brains naturally focus more on problems than on positive experiences (Baumeister et al., 2001). In parenting, this bias can skew perception—especially when behavioral challenges dominate the day. Parents may unintentionally overlook moments of connection, reinforcing a cycle of stress and disconnection.

Mindful parenting interrupts this cycle. By intentionally recalling and savoring positive interactions, parents can rewire their emotional responses and build a more balanced narrative of their parenting journey.

Reframing the Parenting Narrative

When behavioral challenges dominate the day, it’s easy to feel like the story of your parenting is one of struggle. But every story has multiple threads. By consciously choosing to remember the good times, you’re not ignoring the hard parts—you’re balancing them. You’re reclaiming the full picture.

This reframing is supported by narrative psychology, which emphasizes how the stories we tell ourselves shape our identity and emotional well-being (McAdams, 2001). When parents integrate positive memories into their internal narrative, they cultivate a sense of competence, connection, and hope. This, in turn, influences how they show up for their children.

Mindful Parenting: A Framework for Connection

Mindful parenting, as defined by Duncan et al. (2009), involves five key dimensions:

1. Listening with full attention

2. Nonjudgmental acceptance of self and child

3. Emotional awareness of self and child

4. Self-regulation in the parenting relationship

5. Compassion for self and child

This approach encourages parents to be present, emotionally attuned, and responsive rather than reactive. When applied consistently, it fosters secure attachment, emotional regulation, and resilience in both parent and child.

Antonella Sansone (2024) emphasizes that mindful parenting is not just a technique—it’s a relational, embodied process. It co-regulates the emotional states of both caregiver and child, promoting secure attachment and long-term flourishing.

Positive Memory Recall and Emotional Regulation

Recalling positive memories isn’t just comforting—it’s therapeutic. Studies show that positive reminiscence activates brain regions associated with reward and emotional regulation (Speer et al., 2014). For parents, consciously remembering joyful moments with their child can:

• Reduce stress and burnout

• Increase empathy and patience

• Strengthen relational bonds

• Improve emotional regulation during conflict

This is especially critical for parents of children with behavioral challenges, where daily interactions may be fraught with tension. Positive memory recall serves as a buffer, reminding caregivers of their child’s inherent goodness and the love that underpins their relationship.

The Role of Executive Function and Positive Parenting

Recent longitudinal research by Rungsattatharm et al. (2025) found that positive parenting during early childhood is associated with improved executive function (EF), resilience, and fewer behavioral problems in school-age children. EF includes skills like impulse control, emotional regulation, and problem-solving—areas often impaired in children with behavioral challenges.

By focusing on strengths and moments of connection, parents can indirectly support their child’s EF development. This not only reduces behavioral issues but also enhances the child’s capacity for self-regulation and resilience.

Practical Strategies for “Remembering the Good Times”

Here are actionable ways parents can integrate this practice into daily life:

1. Create a “Joy Journal”

Each evening, jot down one positive moment from the day. It could be a smile, a shared joke, or a moment of calm. Over time, this builds a reservoir of affirming memories.

2. Use Photos and Videos

Visual cues are powerful. Revisit photos or short clips of joyful moments with your child. Let them serve as emotional anchors during difficult times.

3. Narrate the Good

Tell stories about positive experiences with your child. “Remember when we danced in the kitchen?” This reinforces connection and helps children internalize positive self-concepts.

4. Practice Gratitude Together

Model gratitude by expressing appreciation for small things. Invite your child to share what made them smile today.

5. Mindful Breathing with Memory Recall

During moments of stress, pause and take three deep breaths. Then recall a specific joyful moment with your child. Let that memory guide your response.

Compassion as a Cornerstone

Mindful parenting is not about perfection—it’s about presence. It’s about meeting your child with compassion, even when their behavior challenges your limits. It’s also about extending that compassion to yourself. Parenting is hard. You’re doing your best. And in those moments of connection—however brief—you’re doing something extraordinary.

As Dr. Priya Thomas reminds us, “Remember to remember.” Let the good times be your guide. Let them strengthen your bond, renew your hope, and remind you why you show up every day.

📚 References

1. Sansone, A. (2024). The central role of mindful parenting in child’s emotional regulation and human flourishing: a blueprint perspective. Frontiers in Psychology. Link

2. Matthews, D. (2023). Positive Parenting and Children's Cognitive Development. Psychology Today. Link

3. Rungsattatharm, L., Tasingha, P., Trairatvorakul, P., & Chonchaiya, W. (2025). Longitudinal associations between executive function and positive parenting during early childhood and resilience, self-regulation, and behavioral problems in school-age children. Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Mental Health. Link

4. Duncan, L. G., Coatsworth, J. D., & Greenberg, M. T. (2009). A model of mindful parenting: Implications for parent–child relationships and prevention research. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 12(3), 255–270.

5. Speer, M. E., Bhanji, J. P., & Delgado, M. R. (2014). Savoring the past: Positive memories evoke value representations in the striatum. Neuron, 84(4), 847–856.